Sweet P's Adoption Story

It's another long one. Enjoy ~

Sweet P's story starts a little over a year ago. I was visiting with DH's dad one afternoon at their apartment between his hospital stays (they were living here in McKinney during his cancer battle/treatments). He said, "I had a dream last night that y'all had two daughters." I said, "Lord, no! That's never gonna happen." I decided (in my need to bring peace & spiritual light to the terrible situation) that the two girls were the two babies we lost to miscarriage visiting him so he would know who they were when he got to Heaven.

I really tho't we were done, after all we're getting close to 40 & all. But sometime after FIL passed away, DH said, "I think we should adopt another child." I promptly said NO! And then God spoke to my heart. I was completely preoccupied about this possibility of another child. So on Thanksgiving, I asked DH if he was serious, and before the end of the year we had contacted the same agency that bro't us P2.

We had finished all the paperwork by February, and then settled in to wait. We stated a preference for a boy because we had all boy stuff - clothes, bedding, toys, etc., but I told one of my cousins, "Obviously, if God sends us a girl, we're not going to say no."

A bunch of random details that led to Sweet P's arrival - In late April, we started thinking about buying a house with more yard. I actually fell in love with one, but DH said, "We can't afford an adoption & a move in the same year." I didn't know it then, but DH prayed that he needed to know if we were going to get a baby, preferably sooner rather than later. On May 3, the boys were having one of their days when their "male-ness" was all over the place. Having my fill of testosterone, I said, "That's it, I'm calling the agency & requesting a girl," and we all laughed. On May 5, a friend (mother of 3 boys) & I went out for coffee mostly to bemoan - I mean celebrate our status as mother of boys, sharing story after story of the boys we are trying to grow into godly men.

On May 6 at 4:30pm, the agency called. The conversation went like this:
Hello.
Oh! I'm so glad you answered the phone.
What's going on?
You put down on your application that you were willing to take a multi-racial child.
What kind of multi-racial did you mean?
Why? What have you got?
A little girl was born this morning. She's half Korean and half African American.
Healthy. But you are the only family we have willing to take a multi-racial child.
(Did she say born this morning?) Okay, let me call DH.
The birthmom's about 80% sure she's going to place. I'll call you after I meet with her.
Okay. Sounds good.

I'm sure more was said, but that's the jist. We talked with the agency that evening. The brithmother wanted to sleep on it, so did DH for that matter. We didn't say anything to the boys. I alerted a few of my prayer warrior friends, and that was all we told. The agent sent us a picture taken with her cell phone. Even on that poor quality picture, it was obvious she was gorgeous.

The next morning, we sent P1 to school like everything was normal and DH left for work. At 8:30am, the agency called, "Okay, she's decided to place. She wants to meet you between 1 & 2pm." So exciting! I called DH and started to get myself presentable and arranged to take P2 to my folks.

A little after 9am, the agency called back, "If the baby has a healthy, she's going home today." Excuse me?! This is a whole different thing. It's one thing to get myself ready to meet the birthmom & baby. It's another thing to be ready to bring a baby home. I sprang into action: found the cradle & bedding (she'd just have to live with blue bumper pads); found the infant car seat, cleaned it & installed it; called a friend who had a little girl looking for clothes - the child didn't need to come home naked; talked sister into coming to clean my house, knowing people would be coming by; went & got P1 from school; stopped at the mall to get a gift for the birthmom; dropped the boys at my folks; and met DH at the hospital by 2:15pm.

We met the birthmother & got to visit with her for over an hour. She already had children from 2 previous marriages and said she always knew God wanted her to place this child, that her mistake would bless someone else. She had been adopted from Korea by an American couple when she was a baby.

Sweet P was released from the hospital about 6:30pm. We just showed up at my folks without telling them what was going on, although they had their suspicions. Again by the time we got home, there were balloons & signs, diapers & clothes. By the end of the next day, there was more pink in my house that I ever would have imagined possible.

We are so blessed with these 3 beautiful children that God has given us to raise.

P2's Adoption Story

I've had some requests recently for our younger kids' adoption stories. Here's P2's story, it's a long one, sorry:

After 2 miscarriages (Nov 03 and Mar 04) & too many rounds of fertility drugs, I couldn't ride that hormonal roller coaster any more. After much prayer, we decided to apply to adopt through a small, Christian agency in Dallas. We turned all the paperwork & home study stuff by Jun 05 and waited.

On Mar 11, 2006, we were having P1's birthday party with family. DH's mom asked if I would loan some of my baby equipment to one of their cousins (19 yrs old, hubby in army, no money) who was due early April. I, very begrudgingly, gave away my baby swing, stroller, exersaucer, bouncy seat, etc. Not the absolutely necessary pieces, just all the extras. They smoked, so I told DH's mom I didn't want any of it back. She said, "Well, when you get a baby, it'll probably be our last grandkid, so I'll want to buy you lots of new stuff."

On Mar 12, we (DH, P1 & I) left to go on a mission trip to do some hurricane clean up at a Baptist camp in East Texas with some friends & their parents & a bunch of couples their parents' age.

On Mar 13, the men were all working hard on building repairs & tree clean up. The other mom & I took the boys on a walk thru the camp grounds to pick up all the trash. In the afternoon, we had a small party for P1 since it was his actual birthday. That evening we were in our cabin, playing with some of P1's birthday stuff, winding down for an early bedtime, when our friend's mom knocked on the door. "You've got to call DH's mom immediately. It's an emergency."

We panicked, and DH used her phone to call home. All I could hear was his mom yelling into the phone, "You've got to call Andrea now about a baby!" And that was it - P2 had been born that morning, on P1's 5th birthday - all 5 1/2 pounds of him. Of course, the annoying thing was that everyone knew we had a baby before we did. But, that's really small compared to the greatness of the moment.

After lots of phone calls and very little sleep, we left for the hospital (south of Fort Worth) early the next morning. Because God has a way of making some things almost too easy. P2 was born in the town where my cousin & fam live. We could stay with them until P2 was ready to come home. P1 could stay & play with his cousins rather than sit up at the hospital. And they had an infant car seat and preemie-size boy clothes that we could borrow (their twins are a few months younger than P1).

So like I said, almost too easy. P2's birth mother walked out of the hospital AMA before we arrived and dropped off the radar. Because she tested positive for speed, she was told she had to place the child for adoption or he would go into foster care. She chose adoption. The hospital connected her with our agency. They brought her two family profile books. She chose us because we lived in Texas (the other family lived in OK). She signed a contract with the agency identifying us as her choice of families, but she couldn't sign the papers to relinquish her rights until 48 hours after giving birth. She had an appointment to come do that & didn't show up. She wouldn't answer her phone. The CPS caseworker went to her house & she wouldn't come to the door.

We couldn't take P2 home until those papers were signed. The nurses in the nursery made up reasons to keep him one more day, but he was going to be discharged Thursday no matter what. If she didn't sign the papers, he would go into foster care. We prayed & cried & held on to that baby, knowing he was ours. With 2 hours to go before he was to be discharged, we got a call that the police had been called to the home for a domestic disturbance. CPS was called because there were children in the home. She knew we needed her signature on the paperwork and convinced the police to hold them there at the home until our agency caseworker could get there. Andrea said that was the first time she'd had the relinquishing papers signed on the back of a police car. As soon as they were signed, they called and told us he was ours officially.

The amazing thing was even though P2 was tiny, he never showed any signs of being a drug baby. The nurses said he acted like a preemie but not like a drug baby. He is a very healthy kid.

So that's P2's amazing story - the best birthday present P1 ever got.

Crossing a New Bridge - What to do with this GT kid

It has been obvious for a long time that P1 was smarter than average, that he often saw things from a different perspective, and that he tho't a little deeper than most kids his age.



At the end of his 3 yr old preschool year (he was barely 4), his teacher said that he could start kindergarten now & be just fine. At the end of pre-K, his teacher said that he will likely be bored in kindergarten.



He might have been, but he had an excellent kindergarten teacher. She adapted lessons for him, sent him to 1st grade for reading group, sent home 1st grade homework instead of wasting his time on kinder homework, started him reading chapter books (it hadn't even occurred to me). Even so, on Christmas break, he said that he was done with kindergarten & ready to start 1st grade. He was probably right, but that's not how public school works. Fortunately, he was admitted to the GT program. That one hour a week made a big difference.



And then 1st grade was lousy. Enough said.



I was hopeful for 2nd grade because P1's Kind. teacher moved to 2nd grade last year. How perfect! She already knows him. She's already succeeded with him. When I turned in my request to have her as a teacher, I said to myself (& maybe my sister), "If he doesn't get Mrs. G, I'm gonna push for him to move to 3rd grade," not really thinking it was even a possibility.



So, 2or 3 weeks ago, I was on the school's website I noticed Mrs. G wasn't listed on the 2nd grade team. AAARGH! Panic, rapid heartbeat, freak out, etc.



Did I really mean it that I'd push to skip to 3rd? What now?

I went & had P1's reading & math levels assessed at KnowledgePoints. After the reading assessment (she gave him the 3rd grade test), the assessor said, "You have some decisions to make." She suggested home schooling because "public school won't be able to keep up with him."

As P1 had heard us discussing the dilemma, he said, "Promise me you won't home school me." I know it wouldn't be the ideal for him. He thrives in the school environment. He's so social and enjoys the independence away from Mom & Dad.

So, I have a child entering 2nd grade who:
- Has a conversational vocabulary of a 10 ½ year old
- Reads & comprehends on a 5th-6th grade level
- Works math word problems on a 6th grade level
- Does math computations on a 3+ grade level, and is gaining ground quickly as he learns to multiply & divide. He has also started pre-Algebra lessons.
- Took the 2006 3rd grade TAKS test & got 34/36 correct on the reading, and 35/40 correct on the math (only missing the problems with terms he has not been introduced to yet)

Besides all this, he’s GT. He sees things differently. He solves problems differently. He is decidedly outside the box. What can we do to keep this child engaged in school?

We meet with his principal tomorrow to discuss it. I hope she's ready for him.

What a difference some sleep makes!

Big announcement - Sweet P is sleeping thru the nite! And, therefore, I am, too. I can't believe how much I've gotten done in the last few days. And the only real life change is that I'm getting some sleep.

Confession, I'm a messy person. Those who know me have just busted out laughing at the understatement. It's not nasty messy. My house doesn't smell. But there is no organization to my life. There is junk everywhere. It really feels like nothing has a home. If I clean off the bar, at least some part of it just gets moved to the desk in the office. If I clean out the office, some of it lands in the hallway upstairs. I never get all of my house clean.

So, I'm doing it now. Bit by bit. Ruthlessly eliminating "stuff" from every room, closet & corner. I'm putting stuff to be eliminated in a bathroom that we don't use. I'm going to have a garage sale as soon as it cools off some - that'll be what? November here in Texas?

Reflective moment - Make that a whiny moment

A friend's dad passed away this morning (sonofwhale.wordpress.com). It has me in a very strange mood. It wasn't that long ago that we lost my FIL to cancer (jtscancer.wordpress.com). We're still crossing each significant date with renewed mourning & rememberance.

MIL & FIL's anniversary is coming up. I remember last year on their anniversary he was in a rehab hospital and unable to do anything for her. Unfortunately, my Papaw passed away just days before, so we were unavailable to help them celebrate. MIL knows how much he loved her even though he had a hard time showing it sometimes. Aside from his faith in God, she was his rock.

Man, there has been a lot of loss this year. Of course there has also been some amazing blessings - one in particular, little miss Sweet P.

But even blessings bring stressors. Adding up stress points from the Holmes Stress Point Scale, over the last year, I'm sitting around 350. I think if you go over 200 in one year, it's not good.

And DH's job is requiring too many hours these days. And my house is a wreck. And my two year old is - well, he's two. I've got my first sinus infection since having sinus surgery in April. P1 is still recovering from his sinus surgery 2 weeks ago. And ... wah, wah, wah ...

I really wanted to take a moment to reflect on what kind of legacy I want to leave my kids. Reading about "Whale" & his family, makes me hope I make even half of the impact that he and his wife clearly made with their kids. Instead, I've fallen into a piss & moan session.

Maybe another night I will be more inspired.

Blessings to all.

If you visited our house ...

Come on in and enjoy the visit.

You would see: Stroller, infant carseat, & more pink than there used to be (thanks to Sweet P); a bar covered in papers & misc items; shoes on the stairs; pics of kids all over walls; window blinds wide open, allowing in as much light as possible.

We’d probably feed you: fruit snacks, seasonal fruit, chips & salsa, or string cheese - if you'll be here for a meal, there's a Wendy's near by.

And offer you this to drink: milk, water, oj or Diet Coke - sometimes there's sweet tea from Chicken Express.

We’d undoubtedly ask if you’d read: Chronicles of Narnia, Magic Treehouse books, or any good Dr. Seuss.

We’d want to play this music for you: The Father's Day cd we made for DH with lots of good dad songs.

We’d want to tell you the latest about: Pokemon; Wii; Nintendo DS; Go, Diego, Go!

We’d probably suggest a game of: Soccer; Life Twists & Turns; Blokus; Pokemon

We might show off: P1 & P2's new space room; our backyard with deck & actual grass

We might get on the computer and show you: latest pics of the kids; Webkins; bigfishgames.com

If it was a long enough visit, we might: go on a walk around the neighborhood or head to the local park.


Y'all come back, now. You hear.

I got tagged ...

Thanks, Athena. Since the other blog is dedicated to the kids & their pics, I decided I needed a place to write my journey ...

Three random things about me:

1. I have dimples in the backs of my shoulders. My mom said God got in a hurry & stapled my arms on. Just an odd genetic thing, apparently my great-great uncle Davy had them, too.

2. I'm afraid my legacy may be incomplete projects. I can't seem to finish anything these days. Not even a complete tho't - I've already been interrupted 3 times since starting this blog.

3. I want to be a writer - oh, look here - I'm writing. I am forever outlining books - fiction or non, inspirational or educational. I have been published twice, both part of my grad school work at Univ of Tulsa. I intended to spend this summer writing a Bible study. Instead, with the arrival of Sweet P in May, I am learning to be the mother of 3. Writing - other than the blogs - may be on the back burner for a while.