Thursday, December 30, 2010

Can we all agree ... no more Mommy Guilt?

If I had one message for moms ... stop feeling guilty. I see it everywhere. Moms seem to be trapped in a life of "should have's," feeling like they don't measure up, like they are failing at the greatest and most challenging job on earth - raising our kids.

I saw it in my own mom. When I went off to college, my mom gave me a letter apologizing for her failure as a mother. I couldn't believe it. How had she failed? Here I was at college, on an academic scholarship. I graduated from high school with honors and perfect attendance. I became a Christian when I was six. As I went to college, I was an active member of a new mission church (thot would become one of the most influencial churches in America). I had friends. I had enough self-confidence to go to college out of state.

The truth is, I thought that somehow I was a disappointment to her, if she thought she was a failure as a mother. Was my mom a failure? By no means. But the guilt she felt over not being the "perfect" mom, overshadowed her whole mothering experience, robbing her of mony joyous moments motherhood can bring.

I knew as a young woman, a young mom, I didn't want to have that mindset. But how do you avoid it?

Almost as soon as the child arrives, you start comparing him to other babies. I gave birth to my first child the same week two of my other friends gave birth to their first borns. There was plenty to compare and contrast.

As toddlerhood approached, I wondered if my floors would ever be clean again (ever step on a Goldfish cracker or a Froot Loop?). Was I spending enough time with my child? Was I doing the right things with/for my child? Was it okay that he always crawled under the table when we went out to eat? The mommy guilt can set in very quickly.

Add two more kids to the mix ... and I know my floors will never be clean. And that's OKAY.

More on this later ... my kids are calling me to play Wii. And I'm starting to feel guilty for spending time on the computer rather than playing with them.

Friday, December 3, 2010

My Christmas Book Library

Special books that come out of storage only a Christmas time is one of my favorite Christmas traditions. My mom did this for us as children, and I think I've taken it to the extreme.

After sharing a few of my favorite Christmas books with some ladies recently, they asked if I had others I'd recommend. Do I ever!

Hope you find a new favorite on the list. And if you have a favorite I don't list, share it with me please. I'm always looking for new additions.

THE CHILDREN'S CHRISTMAS BOOKS

Classics:
The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clark Moore
The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas by Justine Korman
It's his first Christmas, but Poky already shows true Christmas spirit.
The Sweet Smell of Christmas by Patricia Scarry
A Scratch & Sniff book, where Little Bear smells Christmas is on the way.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Suess

The True Meaning of Christmas:
The Cripple Lamb by Max Lucado
A beautiful story of a lonely lamb who discovers the purpose and place God has for him.
The Story of Christmas by Patricia A Pingry
A terrific board book with the basic story of the first Christmas.
My Christmas Stocking (Filled with God's Love) by Crystal Bowman
A simple board book explaining the tradition of St. Nick and stockings.
Who is Coming to Our House? by Joseph Slate
The animals prepare for Mary and Joseph to arrive at the stable and welcome Baby Jesus.
God Gave Us Christmas by Lisa Tawn Bergen
Mama Bear takes Cub on a walk to find the real meaning of Christmas.
The First Christmas by Carol Heyer
Beautiful, realistic illustrations and the telling of the Christmas Story.
The Newborn King by Gaylyn Williams
Eight short devotions about Christmas with a memory verse for each day and a prayer, song or activity to do together.
Do You See What I See ... by Sandi Gore Evans and Amanda Evans
A lonely snowman and his animal friends follow the star to find Baby Jesus.
Mortimer's Christmas Manger by Karma Wilson
A little mouse moves into the family's nativity scene moving all the figurines out of the way, but when he hears the story of Baby Jesus, he makes room for the Baby.
What Nick and Holly Found in Grandpa's Attic by Melody Carlson
Nick and Holly find unique treasures in the attic and Grandpa uses each one to teach them truths about Christmas.
One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham
Probably the most beautifully written and illustrated telling of the Christmas story. She starts with Adam and Eve and the reason Christmas was needed in the first place.
The Legend of the Christmas Tree by Rick Osborne
The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

Other Favorites:
The Secret Santa of Olde Stonington by Mark Kimball Moulton
A mysterious man shows up in a struggling seaside community and makes all the difference at Christmastime.
Mouse's First Christmas by Lauren Thompson
A cute simple story full of the images of Christmas.
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Do you believe in the magic of Christmas?

For Older Kids:
The Christmas Cross by Max Lucado
A man goes on a trip in search of information about his birthmother. He discovers the truth of Christmas, God's love and redemption.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
The Light at Tern Rock by Julia L. Sauer
While taking care of a lighthouse during the Christmas season, a boy and his aunt offer their best to Christ.
The Drummer Boy by Ted Dekker
In a future where Christmas is no longer spoken of, a boy finds the original little drummer boy's drum and cannot be silenced as he plays the drum for Christ.
The Spyglass and The Christmas Candle by Richard Paul Evans

MY CHRISTMAS BOOKS

Must Read Every Christmas:
Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado
Christmas from Gabriel's point of view. AMAZING.

Fun/Touching Christmas Fiction:
The Autobiography of Santa Claus; How Mrs. Claus Saved Christmas; The Great Santa Search by Jeff Guinn
Full of history and lessons on Christmas traditions, Santa tells his real story in this set of books.
The Christmas Tree by Julie Salamon
A story about finding the Christmas tree for Rockefeller Center. In his search, the man finds so much more.
The Christmas Wish by Richard Siddoway
A mystery full of Christmas love.
All of Richard Paul Evans' books

Books about/full of Christmas Traditions:
The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel
Lisa explains the Christian significance behind all our Christmas traditions
The Little Big Book of Christmas Edited by Lena Tabori
A collection of all things Christmas
A Family Christmas by Caroline Kennedy
Another compellation of songs, stories, poems, etc. that celebrate Christmas.